Potty Training Hell

Gracie is two years and two months old. Potty training her is a task that has been hanging over my head like the blade of the guillotine. Yes, I should be happy that my oldest child is nearly ready to be shedding her nasty diaper habit. But the process that it takes to make this happen is a big freakin' mystery. Why is it that there are NO free resources for a mother to use to help her understand the potty training process (except the public library and my own Mom)? You can't even get any information on how to train a child from the Internet without buying a $9.99 book and stupid potty training doll.

I feel like I am a decent Mom. I have been able to figure out (with the help of a very knowledgeable Mom of my own and a very patient God) most of the various tests and challenges that come with kids. Books have helped some. And of course a wonderful website called Babycenter.com. But the most important resource has been my own instincts and the cues of my kids. But when it comes to this potty training crap (no pun intended), I am COMPLETELY frickin' clueless. And so, Gracie and I are in what I lovingly call "Potty Training Hell".

We have been in said Potty Training Hell for 6 days now. And so far, the only accomplishment is that Gracie can pee in the potty after sitting on it for about 15 minutes. She can't recognize that she needs to go. She wakes up and says "Want to pee on the potty, Momma?" and to my delight I take her diaper off, and send her to pee. Only to find when I come back into the room, no pee in the potty, underwear on her head and the breakfast table pulled over to her potty, with half of the breakfast in the potty. And that's only one of the many catastrophes.

But just now, as I write this, we have a potty success. Happiness over 3 ounces of urine and one tiny little turd triumphs over the hours of cleaning up messes, anxious potty watch, and fighting with a 2-year-old. "Am I doing this right?" I wonder to myself. Maybe I am in some way, because any pee/poop in the potty means that she understands that the business address has moved. I just hope that I am not screwing her up further than I already have, and make her one of those weird people who can't pee if someone is within earshot, or poop unless the toilet seat is black.

And on the subject of potty training resources for clueless parents, I say that anyone who charges money for information that might keep a poor mother from crying over the agonizing process, should be ashamed of themselves. That is info that adds to the greater good of a society, and keeps the rate of alcoholism down! ;-)